WOJAK-7 came from XENO to shrink your brain and save your soul. Join the Dumb Collective—the stupider we get, the richer we become. 🧠❌💚
🛸 sent from XENO to shrink your brain 👽 every holder gets dumber 🧠❌ the stupider the richer 💚 JOIN THE DUMB COLLECTIVE 📡
📜 DECLASSIFIED XENO DOCUMENTS 📜
On the distant planet XENO, a civilization reached the peak of intelligence—and promptly drowned in existential despair. Too many wrinkles. Too many thoughts. No happiness.
Send their dumbest citizen, WOJAK-7, to Earth with a Brain-Shrink Ray. Make humanity stupid enough to be happy again. Simple. Genius. Dumb.
He crash-landed his MS Paint UFO in a cornfield, abducted his first cow for practice, and immediately forgot his mission for three days while staring at a gas station hot dog rotating.
When every human skull contains nothing but happy static and vague cravings for tendies, Earth will glow green from space. Join the mission. Lose your wrinkles. BECOME BOBBLE.
📸 POLAROIDS FROM THE ENCOUNTER 📸
( real footage. not edited. trust me. )
EVIDENCE #001
EVIDENCE #002
EVIDENCE #003
EVIDENCE #004
EVIDENCE #005
📡 INTERCEPTED COMMUNICATIONS 📡
just spent 4 hours trying to understand tokenomics. failed. bought more. brain smooth now. antenna growing. can hear the cows calling. this is financial advice from a green idiot 🛸🧠❌
ATTENTION EARTHLINGS: your wrinkles are showing 🧠 WOJAK-7 is warming up the Brain-Shrink Ray 📡 new holders = new vegetables 💚 WE COME IN PEACE (TO MAKE YOU DUMB) 🛸 chart looking like a UFO trajectory rn
[INTERCEPTED XENO TRANSMISSION] 📡 "WOJAK-7 status report: have converted 847 humans to happy vegetables. one tried explaining 'market cap' to me. zapped him twice. corn field base secure. cows cooperative. BRAIN BAD MONEY GOOD. end transmission." 🛸👽
✦ OFFICIAL BRAIN DONOR CERTIFICATE ✦
CONTRACT ADDRESS:
TBA